Monday, August 31, 2009

Log Lady interaction

The other day I had just placed all my delicious grocery items on the conveyor belt.
The belt was moving.
I was gazing up at the magazines thinking, I want one.
Hmmm, maybe the Real Simple, cover looks good, it's a decent magazine... my hand reaching out, I'm bending over the belt...
When suddenly a Log Ladyish gets all up in my grill, like four inches from my face, and says hurriedly, "Don't go to the pools tonight."
I was taken aback.
She was scurrying away.
I said, "What?!"
She came back in and repeated, "Don't go to the pools tonight."
In a span of seconds... my mind whirls. WTF?!?!?! What's the connection. Is this a spy ring? The ships sails at midnight? What? What? Thinking... well I do go to the pools three times a week but I never engage a soul.
I said, "Do you see me at the pools?"
She said, "Yes."
I said, "Okay."
Again with the, "Don't go to the pools tonight."
I said, "What, the fires?"
She said, "Yes, the pools are closed."
I said, "Okay"
She was off in a flash.
It was weird.
It was the 2009 Pool/Log Lady.
I liked it.

Just for the record, I love Twin Peaks.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Candy & Makeup

Oh, which one next?
Orange cream? Pecan walnut cluster cup? Dark chocolate cherry?Indulgence, your name is sweetness for the lips and through the lips.I did a girl thing and purchased candy and makeup in one fell swoop.
Once upon a time, I had a Popeye coloring book. Inside was art of Olive Oyl all legs and boots being chased by Brutus (or in some parts known as Bluto) and he had his fingers out all wiggling in front of him trying to catch her. The caption: "Oh, the price of beauty." hahaha I love that bit.I love red lipsticks! I love lipsticks. I have 100 lipsticks. Really!
I just adopted three more - bright orange-red, dark pinky-orangish red, bright solid ruby red!!! Yep my night's booty treasure consisted of makeup and a box of nice chocolates.Tra la la
I deserve it.

(FYI: Take note people, January 3rd = National Chocolate Covered Cherry day)

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Vampires

I love vampires.
I'll watch all vampire movies/shows.
Dreamy ones, creepy ones, scary ones, sexy ones..."Vampires are the sexiest of all the undead, surely - sartorial elegance, good looking, confident and intelligent. And they are seemingly all loaded with money. They are the upper echelons of monster society. No dinner party should be without one." -Glen, AustraliaI wish Don Draper was a vampire.If you could, would you be a vampire?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I am so stressed! Venting!

I woke up last night to a bad dream.

Well, I guess I went to bed with it. It was hovering, I recognized it knocking on me and could not pin it down or Jedi mind trick it away. I thought sleep was the answer, to shut it down. Nope, sleep just gave it time to bubble up and spew forth in a stress night volcano. Ugh.

This past week during our group mentoring session we reviewed stress, matched to our Meyers Briggs type (Ms. Smart = ENTP). They asked how are you at your best? Your worse? What situations cause you to to go into those best and worse modes?

This week I got a big truckload of the "worse" situation inducers. I am fighting it but man I am stressed, over-wrought, overwhelmed, and not happy about it.I am being forced in a non-forceful company to use a performance evaluation program that I do not believe in. It will cause me so much more work and to what end? There is a self-evaluation portion that staff has to fill out and then discuss with me - why? This is going to cause conflict and tension and ruin good working relationships. I have to do the same with the assistant CEO. Why? It also has a section for me to rate and comment on my self in 8 categorizes with at least 6 items in each one. Plus the day to day goals to do my job. Anddddddd the fiscal year goals. And any personal goals. And if I rate myself better than the average I have to list point to prove my rating. Within the program are pre-written insincere messages too. I hate that shit. This is such a nightmare. No one asked the managers what they wanted, what would be helpful. This is so top-down and company is bottom-up. I do an excellent job and my goal is to strive for more of a work/life balance. This program is counter productive to my goal. This program is going to cause me a lot more work and make good relations, bad. I am so stressed over this. I feel sick about it. I also feel like I can not voice my feelings on it or I will labeled as not going with change. This change is not reasonable. This change is not helpful, it is harmful and stressful and way to detailed. I also have a problem doing things that I do not feel or believe in.

Sigh

I have so much work to do already. I am short four staff members and now I am being forced to take on something else in a manner that does not fit my style of working or that I do not believe in. There is also punishment attached to this program. If I don't do it, I won't get a raise. This does not feel good. I am beside myself over this.I woke up at 3 AM last night and journaled 23 pages of venting to get it out of me. I listened to a meditation CD to get out of my misery and back to a smooth flow of being. Damn man. My tummy hurts.

I am going to have to talk with the CEO about this on Monday. This is too stressful to keep in. That is going to be one tough conversation, lots of disclaimers required. Send good juju my way - thanks.

I am gonna go walk this off today. Walking to Old Town Pasadena.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Shiny Things

I am quite certain that I am part crow...As I am attracted to all shiny things.I believe that seeing crows is an omen. I am not sure what it means. I think the determining factors are how many crows and on which side of you.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Thought...

SET UP:
Friday, I went to the Norton Simon art museum after work.
They have a great collection of art!
There also is a small garden area w/big pond to stroll through.
It is a pleasant experience.THOUGHT:
While wandering the halls, galleries, I take the long glance and what catches my attention I am drawn in to take a two-inch close up study.
It was this close up view that set my mind down a thinking road...
The paint strokes indicate something - sheen and drape of fabric, smooth blushed skin, fresh cut lemon, city bustle and the crash of waves on a stormy sea.
Indicate.
Illusions.
From a distant we see what the artist intends.
Up close we see a series of paint strokes, colors separately laid down, blended, not, thick, washes, the build up of layers creating the illusion.

Magritte: "Ceci n'est pas une pipe" - "This is not a pipe"
This is only an indication.

Norton Simon Museum - Get a head full of nice art and allow your mind the freedom to wander as it pleases.